Because you’re attracted to people who already feel complete. My parents have been married for over 50 years, and I’ve never seen them happier than they are now. Not because they can’t live without each other, but because they’ve loved each other, supported each other, and enriched each others’ lives for half a century. My life is already fulfilling; I already have a clear sense of who I am, what I stand for, and what I want to do. But I still want to share it with someone - ideally, someone who also feels complete, just as they are. 

Because I’m filled with love. Hokey, I know. But also, I send care packages to my friends, apropos of nothing. I gave my kidney to a stranger, just because I’m healthy and wanted to save a life. In relationships I often give more than I receive, because doing so makes me happy. Yes, I want to feel loved, but I also want my partner to feel the same way. 

Because you care about the world. Call me idealistic, but I believe we can make the world better, and we should try to do so. That’s why I’ve spent much of my career fighting climate change and environmental injustice. It’s why I founded a non-profit after college, and led it for five years. It’s why I put myself at risk to stand up for people less fortunate or more vulnerable. 

Because I’m stable and emotionally mature. I enjoy my own company, and there’s so much about life that - yes, even still - fills me with a palpable sense of wonder and awe. But my life hasn’t always been easy; I’ve endured grief, and loss, and economic hardship. Maybe that’s why I so enjoy the good things in life - sincere, heartfelt conversation; learning and personal growth; travel, and good food, and new experiences. And maybe that’s why I’m able to endure the hard times - because I’ve done so before, and I know that they pass with time. 

Because I’m good company. I want to be with someone who asks questions, and listens to me, and cares. Who does the emotional work of seeing things from my perspective when we disagree. Someone who puts aside their troubles to help me with mine; someone who loves me despite all the ways I can and should be better. Because that’s how I love my partners, and I want the same.